Start Vent Here

I want to say a few things:

1. I like myself. Yes, I can even venture to say that I love myself. I've heard so many times "you can't expect someone to love you unless you love yourself first," and let me tell you…I love myself. I'm happy with the person that I've become in practically every way. Sure, I could use improvement, but especially in the major areas, I think I'm pretty awesome. Maybe I should just find a way to marry myself, and we could avoid this whole posting, but anyway…

2. WTF do men want? You ask them this question, and they give you a nice little listing: funny, sweet, caring, honest, loyal, intelligent, driven, confident, yadda yadda yadda. Okay, no problem. I am those things. Remember, I like/love myself and think I'm pretty awesome. Then POOF! Guy doesn't want those things anymore it seems! Instead, he wants a girl who is bitchy 90% of the time and complains the other 10%. Wait…what?

3. I don't understand why people say one thing and do something completely opposite. If you say you're going to do something, here's a novel idea…DO IT! If you say you're going to call, then call. If you say you can't wait to meet me, then meet me already. Really, it's not entirely difficult…unless you want to make it so, in which case, sorry but not sorry, you're out.

4. Here's the newest one. Guy sends me a message on a paid dating site (can't tell me I'm not trying here!) We start chatting via text, and he's all gung-ho about meeting. We set a date up…both of us are excited. Few days before this set-up date, I get the text "so can you do a different day?" Jokingly I ask "what, prettier and better girl lined up for that day instead?" Turns out, why yes…another girl is coming to his house for the night for their first date. Well how lovely for you, dude!

4. I hate my mom telling me that my friends are having trouble with this too. Especially when said friends are 4-6 years younger than me. Six years ago, I wasn't feeling this way. I wasn't even at four years ago. And forgive me for sounding a bit mean, but I don't care about their "woe to me, my boyfriend bought me daisies when I really like lilies, maybe he's not the one?" The dude bought you flowers, he was thinking about you when he did it, be happy!

Let's talk about this all here, okay?

I don't think that a relationship is the be-all-end-all of the universe. Nor is being in one, unless it is with yourself. Because yes, you do need to like yourself in order to be a relatively functional human being I think. But…I'm going to be completely 100% honest here…I'm getting lonely. There, it's out in the open. Whew! I've officially reached the point where I want a family. Husband, kids, dog, maybe not a white picket fence because they're kinda silly looking, but a house none the less. This took a while to fully reach this point, but I'm there now.

While I'm still not willing to settle for someone who can just throw that my way (I'm not desperate!), I'm looking. I've been patient. I mean…I'm 32 and only have the dog so far (though he is a pretty awesome dog)…that's being patient I think. I pray every night for God to send the right one for me. He's gotta be out there somewhere, living and breathing at this very moment, maybe wishing and praying for me too…so where is he?! Why is it taking so long for us to meet up finally?

So…for the guy who (hopefully) eventually finally fills this void and emptiness that is slowing growing in my heart, thank you. You rode in on a tortoise instead of a great white stallion, but thank you. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get here too.